From the Blog
One of my friends and I have had some good-natured sparring over Democrat vs Republican.
He and I enjoy the back and forth, so please take this in the satirical manner it was intended. We don’t actually think the other party believes this, and it’s total hyperbole. But it is funny, and shows the extremes of each party. Enjoy.
The list I received
I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are
all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
I’m voting Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I
want. I’ve decided to marry my horse.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a
gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of
gas at 15% isn’t.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better
job of spending the money I earn than I would.
I’m voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody
is offended by it.
I’m voting Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the
bad guys will stop what they’re doing because they now think we’re good people.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us
if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt
away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius.
I’m voting Democrat because I’m not concerned about the slaughter of
millions of abortion babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe that business should not be
allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest
away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the
Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get
their agendas past the voters.
I’m voting Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass it’s
unlikely that I’ll ever have another point of view.
The list I composed
- I’m voting Republican because the sky is falling, Obama is the Antichrist, and there is a terrorist under every rock
- I’m voting Republican because we are a party of diversity: if by diverse you mean having 3.5 black people and 8 hispanics
- I’m voting Republican because if I keep telling myself “Iraq had a connection to the people who attacked us on 9/11″ it will make it true
- I’m voting Republican because prosperity trickles down to poor people…it does right? I mean I don’t actually know any poor people.
- I’m voting Republican because I want government to stay out of the way…except for legislating the cultural and moral principles I hold…and guns…but stay out of the way on other stuff
- I’m voting Republican because I believe you can plant a democracy at the end of a gun with civilian leaders who don’t even know the difference between Sunni and Shiite.
- I’m voting Republican because I believe we simply need to waive our irresistible democracy fairy dust over the middle east, and it will bloom like a spring garden. We don’t ACTUALLY need to waste our time understanding their culture, religion, and values.
- I’m voting Republican because schools don’t need more money, the facilities are amazing…in the suburbs where I live
- I’m voting Republican because I trust international corporations more than I trust government…they can’t both be corrupt can they?
- I’m voting Republican because I forget there are a lot of pro-life people on both sides, who know that we should be just as focused on preventing unplanned pregnancy as the legal status of abortion, that the lowest abortion rates in the world are in countries where it is legal but there is good health services (http://prolifeproobama.com/), the highest in countries where it is illegal and there are not adequate services), and that being pro-life doesn’t end at birth (http://matthew25.org)
Yesterday, a group of simple church leaders met to discuss what God is
doing in Denver.
At the end we had a time of prayer about Denver. We weren’t really
focusing on any one person, just for God’s healing and transformation
A friend who I had not spoken with for a month was moved to pray
specifically for me, and named 2 emotions I’ve been deeply struggling
with, and prayed for God’s healing for me. He also spoke several words
directly to my heart about what my family is going through.
Thank you Lord that out of 6 billion people you had a word just for
me. I needed to hear that.
The people of Myanmar/Burma have suffered long enough under a military regime. If you have a couple minutes to sign a petition, check out the link below.
The worst is happening - over the last few days,
Burma 's generals have unleashed terror on the peaceful monks and
protesters shooting and beating many to death, and taking others away
to torture chambers where at this moment they must be enduring the
We can stop this horror. Burma's powerful
sponsor China can halt the killing, if it believes that its
international reputation and the 2008 Olympics
in Beijing depend on
it. To convince the Chinese government, Avaaz is launching a major global
and Asian ad campaign on Tuesday that will deliver our message and the
number of signers. Our petition has exploded to over 200,000 signers
in just 72 hours, but we
need 1 million voices to be the global roar
that will get China's attention. If every one of us forwards
this email to just 20 friends, we'll reach our target in the next 72
hours. Please sign the petition at the link below -if you
haven't already- and forward this email to everyone you care
The petition will also be delivered to the UN
Secretary-General, and we will broadcast the news of our effort over radio to Burma's
people, telling them not to lose hope, that the world is with
them. The Burmese people are showing incredible courage in the
face of horror. The fate of many brave and good people is in our hands,
we must help them – and we have hours, not days, to do
it. Please sign the petition and forward this email to at least 20
friends right now.
With hope and determination,
Ricken, Paul, Pascal, Graziela, Galit, Ben, Milena and the
whole Avaaz Team
PS – if you would like to join in the massive wave of
demonstrations happening around the world at Burmese and Chinese embassies,
scroll down our petition page for details of times and events.
Catch up on fall's hot new shows on Yahoo! TV. Watch previews, get listings, and more!
If you live to seek revenge, dig a grave for two.
Ancient Jewish Proverb